


Torrents

by Neroli66



Series: Delta Rain verse [2]
Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M, rayne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-24
Updated: 2005-10-24
Packaged: 2019-09-15 14:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16935261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neroli66/pseuds/Neroli66
Summary: The sequel to Delta Rain, abandoned WIP





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by [](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/profile)[**cassiee**](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/) and [](https://jebbypal.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://jebbypal.livejournal.com/)**jebbypal**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captain Malcolm Reynolds stood looking out at the jumble of bodies mingling around Persephone's docks. His luck hadn't been real shiny the last few trips here and he found himself wondering why he kept coming back. With a wry twist of the lips he turned to face his crew.

"All right folks, let's make this trip smooth." he strode purposefully back towards them, "Wash, you an' Kaylee get the parts we need. Jayne, you take the Doc on his errands, watch out for them patrols." he gave Jayne a stern look; he very much did not like Simon gettin' off the boat here. "Zoë, you're with me."

"You three," he tossed almost casually over his shoulder as they moved out, "watch over my girl."

He couldn't shake the nerves that'd been plaguin' him all morning, didn't help that River'd been actin' all twitchy too. Never a good sign, but when he'd asked if she saw any danger she'd only been able to look at him in frustration and shake her head no. But he could tell somethin' was tickling at her edges. If only he'd been able to think on a way to keep the Doc on the ship, but they needed those supplies. An' the Doc was the best choice to go get them, knew what he needed, what they was worth, wouldn't raise as much suspicion buyin' them as the rest of the crew would. Plus it got 'em done an' out of here faster.

He scowled as him an' Zoë neared Badger's den, he'd decided the Devil he knew was better'n the Devil he didn't this trip. Be time enough to make a new contact when he was in a better position to deal with a pissed off Badger.

Setting his shoulders he headed down into the den, Zoë's calm, yet ever alert, presence a comfort behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon followed in Jayne's wake, musing on the benefits to the man's presence. Like the ability he had of creating a path even in the most crowded marketplace. The more he adjusted to the odd relationship the mercenary and his sister were forming the more he was able to see part of why it was there. Jayne's bulk did inspire a certain feeling of security, when he wasn't using it to intimidate you.

He reached out and tapped Jayne lightly on the shoulder, indicating he wanted to check out the shop they were nearing. Jayne gave a grunt and headed over; a little surprised when he realized it was a craft store. Simon smiled. Wash had asked him to pick up some more yarn for River; she had used up the last of her odd and ends on a blanket for Jayne. It was the most god-awful mix of colors Simon had ever seen, but Jayne had seemed to love it.

If nothing else convinced Simon that Jayne really cared for his sister, the man's pure joy at her knitting him that blanket did.

Simon picked out the colors Wash had recommended quickly, pausing for a moment as his eye caught on the patches nearby. Kaylee would adore that bunny one. He grabbed it before his nerves could stop him and made his purchases, ignoring Jayne's soft chuckle behind him.

"Hope yer other purchases are small, Doc." Jayne grumbled as Simon handed him one of the bags. They were rather bulky and awkward. It was a lot of yarn. He was thankful, yet again, that Wash had pitched in money for it.

"The junkyard is almost on the way; perhaps we should swing by and put these on the mule." Simon offered. He knew they were supposed to hurry, but it really was not far out of the way to the store he needed to visit. He'd picked up supplies there before, on his way to the docks to find a ship to take him and River, and had seen the junkyard off to the side from the street.

"Might be an idea, don't want the man ape droppin' nothin'." Jayne smirked at him, Simon found himself wondering if Kaylee had told him about his box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing quip. Or if maybe he had unnaturally sharp hearing. Actually, that seemed more likely considering the man's uncanny tracking skills. Since Jayne seemed more amused then mad he decided it might be best not to ask how he knew about it.

He walked out the door, only to be stopped short by the wall of people. Jayne pushed past him with an amused snort and headed off to the junkyard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inara was at a loss on what to do. River had been getting increasingly agitated over the past hour. It wouldn't be so bad, Inara thought, if the girl had been able to figure out what was causing it. She'd already stopped herself from calling Mal or Simon back a couple of times.

Until they knew just what the problem might be their hands were tied, what if her calling them back early set off whatever danger was hidden from River. She knew that was why Mal had stayed with the plan he already had, River's not being able to pin anything down might indicate that the danger was from altering it. Or it might mean the danger was not to any of them. Or it might mean that Jayne would get indigestion from dinner tonight. They had no way of knowing until River got a clearer vision.

She tried to focus on her calligraphy. River had given up on her drawing and was currently sitting on the bed, Inara was sure she was trying to pin down what was bothering her. She could almost feel the poor girl's frustration.

"SIMON" River's sudden shriek pierced the air and Inara leapt up, ink and paper spilling over the rich carpet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon was in the process of haggling the shopkeeper down to a more reasonable price when Jayne grabbed his arm. Turning, he saw the merc's eyes go blank for a second. The disturbing thought that he looked just like River getting one of her visions flashed through his head.

Then Jayne was back, his eyes focusing on his for a second before he turned away, drawing his gun in one smooth motion. Simon felt the counter bruise his hip as Jayne thrust him back behind him. He heard the bell over the door ring as it was opened but he couldn't see who entered with Jayne blocking him.

Two shots rang out in rapid percussion from Jayne's gun before a third shot sent him slamming back into Simon. He barely had time to register that the last shot had been from an energy rifle before Jayne slid stunned to the floor at his feet and he could see the four remaining guards and one man in a dark business suit. Two guards were lying on the ground with holes in their heads from Jayne's shots.

"Doctor Tam," the man in the business suit stepped casually over the dead men, "you can not imagine my surprise when I was alerted that a known fugitive had stepped off of Captain Reynolds’ ship. Or my pleasure. I had thought getting my revenge on your dear Captain would be far more difficult. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Atherton Wing."

"You and your..." he paused as he looked down at Jayne in distaste, "bodyguard, will be my honored guests while I await my reward for apprehending you."

Simon quickly decided not to warn Mr. Wing what had happened to the last person that had tried to collect their reward. From what Inara and the Captain had said about this Atherton, the man richly deserved what was coming to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/profile)[**cassiee**](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/) and [](https://jebbypal.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://jebbypal.livejournal.com/)**jebbypal**
> 
> Chinese translations:  
> Mei-mei: Sister  
> Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng: Frog-riding bastard  
> Hundan: Bastard  
> Tamade: Mother F*cker

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mal charged up the plank and into Serenity's cargo hold, he'd left Badger starin' at his backside after Inara's frantic call to get back to the ship. Only half aware of Zoë's calm voice tellin' Wash an' Kaylee to get back; and her unanswered call to Simon an' Jayne. Seein' Book standing by the entrance to Inara's shuttle he went up the stairs two at a time.

He pushed past Book to take in the sight of Inara standin' at the foot of her bed, gazing down at the unconscious girl layin' there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon realized he really did not like Atherton Wing. Really did not like him. He pressed his fingers to his aching side gingerly, checking for broken ribs. After assuring himself they were only bruised he crawled over to Jayne.

The merc was a mess of cuts and bruises. He supposed he should not have been surprised by Jayne's rather forceful objections to being taken hostage. Once the man had recovered from being stunned he'd gone ballistic. Simon cringed as the merc groaned under his probing hands. But at least he was coming to, Simon thought with a mental sigh of relief.

"Where am I?" Jayne asked groggily, looking around him dazed and bleary-eyed.

"We appear to be in Mr. Wing's home." Simon told him, looking around at the opulent room critically. It matched what he'd seen of the rest of the house he and Jayne had been dragged through. He was no stranger to the upper class; but from what he could tell, Atherton Wing made his family look like paupers. He could almost hear his mother fawning over the luxuriousness around them. With a sharp pang Simon realized that at one time he would have done the same.

He had an uneasy feeling that the reward Atherton had referred to was not of a monetary nature.

"Well," he said, trying to sound calmer then he felt, "it appears that they didn't break any of your bones, despite your best efforts."

"Aw Doc," Jayne smirked up at him, "Never knew ya cared."

"I care," he replied tersely, "Because right now you are my best bet for getting out of here. And because any harm that comes to you; hurts my sister."

Simon almost felt sorry for his words at Jayne's stricken look.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mal felt the familiar shake of the artificial gravity taking hold. He'd ordered Wash to take off as soon as he an' Kaylee had gotten back to the ship. Book an' Inara had explained 'bout River's sudden panic an' with Simon an' Jayne not responding to either Zoë or Inara they'd had to assume the two were taken...or worse. River had come to as they were takin' off but so far she'd remained silent, jus' looked at him all accusing-like.

They had moved from Inara's shuttle to the common area off the mess, all except for Wash. Kaylee was sittin' quietly next to River, it was hard tellin' if the arm she had around the girl was for River's comfort or her own. The look on Kaylee's face broke his heart. Mal stopped his pacing as River finally spoke.

"not dead...captured by the wing..." her hands twisted in the fabric of her dress nervously, "cowardly lion beaten by the great man.."

He felt his gaze drawn to the purple bruise on her jaw; Book had given it to her when he'd knocked her out to stop her from runnin' out into the marketplace.

"Did the Alliance snatch 'em?" Mal asked, trying to keep his voice calm. River was upset enough as it was. She shook her head no; the look she gave him plainly sayin' her meanin' should be all kinds of obvious.

"black wing swooped down and took them away..." she muttered, peering up at him through her dark hair. "dark...pride is sinful..."

"So, they on a ship?" he tried another tact. Part 'bout swoopin' down sure sounded like a ship had taken them. But she shook her head again.

"wing has edges...sharp..." her voice quivered close to tears. "mists block out the sunlight...leaves darkness behind..."

He'd been thinkin' he'd figured her out some but this weren't makin' no sense. Still, she seemed sure that it weren't the Alliance had 'em an' they were still on Persephone. Only, that weren't much help to them, they still needed to figure out who did have 'em an' why. He turned as Inara gasped behind him.

"Sweetie," she moved over to River, her voice gettin' an urgent tone, "You are saying a wing took them?" River nodded up at her, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Like, an Atherton Wing?" Inara asked gently. River's head bobbed up and down in assent.

"Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng." Mal spat out in disgust, he should'a killed that hundan. Ok, now they knew the who. And the why. Just had to figure out what Ath planned on doin'.

"He know who Simon is?" he asked River as he squatted down in front of her.

"yes..." she said softly, her tiny hand reached out and grasped his shirt as she looked pleadingly at him, "need Jayne..."

"Gonna get 'em back, mei-mei," he reassured her.

"No," she shook her head firmly, "focus...need Jayne..."

"I think I got this one, sir." Zoë said as she headed out of the mess, Mal looked after her blankly.

"If she got this one why is she walkin' away?" he asked, hoping one of others was makin' sense of this. They all looked as puzzled as he felt.

Fortunately, Zoë returned almost immediately. Without a word she handed over Jayne's hat and sweater, plus the blanket River had knit him. Mal watched in amazement as River visibly calmed as she pulled the sweater on. Her tiny hands tugged the hat on next, then she curled up under the blanket; lookin' for all the world like she was preppin' for some serious sane time. He could almost hear the "I told you so" as he looked up at Zoë.

"All righty then, if'n this ever happens again first order of business is gettin' River some Jayne." he drawled. In one smooth motion Mal stood; keeping his gaze on River's face he said firmly, "We're gonna get 'em back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jayne finished his third inspection of the room him an' Simon had been tossed in. Part of his mind tallyin' up the cost the baubles casually spread about while the rest of him searched for a way out of this pretty cage. He'd slipped a few smallish items in a pocket or two while he was lookin' about. Likely wouldn't get away with 'em but no harm in tryin'. Seemed they were pretty humped already.

"Gorramit," he cursed, "ain't no ruttin' way out 'cept the door."

"I would have thought the lack of windows would have been your first clue." he turned to glare at Simon. Doc was not bein' helpful.

"Don't hurt ta look," he muttered irritably, "'sides, beats sittin' there like a lump." Damn doc had jus' sat there the whole time he was tryin' ta get them out of there. Lettin' him do the hard stuff, like usual.

"You could try using that bond you have, to see if they know who has taken us and why." Simon was looking up at him calmly; ruttin' hell, he hated it when the Doc was right.

There were all kinds of not right 'bout this; the fact that Atherton hadn't turned them over to the Fed's yet bein' chief among them. Man had a score ta settle an' he weren't actin' all predictable 'bout it neither. Should'a been enough ta turn him an' Simon over an' tell them what ship they'd been on. Fed's would'a had Serenity landlocked an' boarded in an instant. Mal would'a been humped for sure then.

He remembered the smirk on that hundan's face as he'd walked over ta Simon in the shop, the way he'd said the Doc's name. Man like that wouldn't think twice 'bout turnin' them in, or usin' them as bait. Question was, was the bait for Mal or River...or both of 'em. He silently swore to himself that if Atherton Wing caused one tiny bit of harm ta come to his girl he was gonna rip him a new hole. With his bare hands.

An' this line of thinkin' weren't helpin' him concentrate on feelin' River none. He settled himself as comfortably as he could an' tried thinkin' 'bout how River's thoughts had felt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mal," Inara placed a hand on his arm to stop his pacing, "There's something you need to know about Atherton."

"Other then he's holdin' two of my crew hostage?" he asked her bitterly.

"Yes," she hesitated before continuing, she had a very bad feeling about this, "Atherton's family are major stockholders in the Blue Sun Corporation. It's where he gets his money from."

"Oh, this jus' keeps gettin' better an' better." he looked at her, the anger etched on his face deepening, "Still don't explain why he didn't get us landlocked."

"Probably didn't occur to him you would leave them there." she said dryly.

She understood why Mal had to get them off the planet. They couldn't risk River. He'd expected the Alliance to have them at the time he had ordered Wash to take off. It had been a bit of a shock when it had become clear that wasn't the case. Right now they were orbiting Persephone trying to figure out what to do next. There was a certain comfort to being off the planet, no worrying about a landlock and if any ships started heading their way they stood a chance of being able to make a run for it. On the docks they were little better then sitting ducks.

"Startin' to think that was a mistake." he said softly, "Might be if we'd stayed we could'a gotten them out. Seems like Ath was lookin' more for me then them."

"No Mal," it pained her seeing him doubt himself like this, "You had to leave, Atherton knows what ship you own. It seems certain he was having Serenity watched, even if it wasn't by the Alliance. More then likely he was expecting you to try a rescue, but that doesn't mean he has no intention of turning Simon and River in afterwards."

"An' if I had given him what he expected then maybe he'd be dead by now." his expression hardened again.

"it's too late..." River's soft voice drifted over to them, "he's sent for them...had the trap baited but the mice ran away..."

"Great, now we're mice." Mal's sarcastic tone made everyone flinch.

"Mal..." she started to try and calm him when River interrupted.

"bait's still good as long as the mice run free..." she was looking up at Mal intently, "once the mice are caught the bait has no use..."

"She has a point, Captain," Book spoke up from the corner, "As long as we keep you away from Mr. Wing; Simon and Jayne are relatively safe."

"Still not helpful on the gettin' 'em back." Mal countered.

Inara let herself go over everything they were sure of. She knew Atherton best, hopefully she knew him well enough to figure things out. He had taken Simon and Jayne, had not contacted them with any sort of ransom or threat yet; but then, they had learned he had them sooner then he could have anticipated. She doubted Atherton was part of the inner workings of the corporation, from what she knew of him he had little interest in working for his money. So she was fairly sure he would know little more then that Simon was wanted for kidnapping his sister and there was a substantial reward for her return.

To him they would just seem like pawns in his little revenge game.

On the other hand; one could assume that he had enough information to realize that Blue Sun was the one offering that reward. The warrants for Simon and River were cryptic; odd little details like why a kidnapped girl had a warrant at all would send up red flags for most people. And that whole business of it being her school offering the reward and not the parents. Atherton was an intelligent man; no doubt he'd be able to see that something was off there.

"Cap'n," Wash's voice sounded over the intercom, "we're getting a wave."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ain't no use Doc," Jayne sounded defeated. "I ain't no good at this, not like she is."

"You can't sense anything from her?" he asked the merc worriedly. His one hope had been that they could communicate with River, and through her, Mal.

"When it's happened 'fore it's been all natural-like, an' she was right there." Jayne's head was bowed; all the fire inside of him seemed to have gone out. It suddenly hit Simon that the big man had come to count on that subtle connection as much as River had.

"Maybe if you explain to me how it works we can figure something out." he said gently. He reached over and laid a hand on Jayne's arm. "There has to be a way. If nothing else, she should be able to pick up that you are trying to reach her."

"An' what if she's in no shape ta be pickin' anything up, Doc," Jayne looked up at him, his face anguished, "What if that's why I ain't gettin' through."

"Do you really think that might be the case?" Simon pushed the edge of panic back, hoping Jayne was simply overreacting. The big man sighed heavily.

"No, don't feel that way." he admitted, "Jus' sayin' I might not know...not like any of us really understand this thing, 'cept maybe River."

"I think if anything happened to her, you would know." Simon was aware he was trying to reassure himself as much as he was Jayne. "So, what were you doing, thinking, when it happened before? Maybe trying to re-create that would help."

Jayne gave him the familiar smirk, "Ya sure ya want ta know that Doc?"

Simon closed his eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath.

"Just...please tell me you haven't slept together and I think I can handle it." he braced himself for the worst.

"But we have slept together." Jayne grinned at him, enjoying his discomfort no doubt, "Ain't had sex yet, if that's what ya meant."

"Can't you think of a less...crude...way of talking about my sister?" Simon felt his irritation getting the best of him; "She's not one of your whores, you know." He glared at Jayne defiantly, so he caught a flicker of anger cross Jayne's face.

"Hell Doc," Jayne spat out at him, "ya think I don't know that? Ya think I ain't all aware she ain't the kind'a woman a man like me can expect ta end up with?"

Jayne heaved himself up and glared down at him. Simon watched in shocked silence as he started pacing the room again, the force of the merc's anger a little frightening.

"Been a hell of'a long time since I been with a woman I ain't paid for it." Jayne was avoiding looking at him, but at least his anger seemed to have left. "Why ya think I don't kiss 'em on the mouth? Avoids all kind'a complications an' the whores don't like it none anyways, 'less they are tryin' ta give ya the goodnight kiss. Trust me boy, a whore wantin' to kiss ya is a sign of trouble."

"Serenity's the longest job I ever held," he continued. Simon was glad of the distraction, and it was so rare for the big man let out anything about himself. At least, not anything he wanted to hear. "Most of 'em never even lasted six months. Much less goin' on two years. Not the kind'a life ya can bring a wife in on. An' a crude, uneducated merc with no future ain't any woman's idea of Prince Charmin'. Ain't like I was all rich an' fancy like yerself. So's it got ta be a habit, visitin' the whore houses when I had the time an' money. Made things seem a bit less lonely, ya know?"

No, he didn't really know, but then he'd met Kaylee right off. He had landed on Serenity before he'd ever really tried to make it on his own. He'd never really understand what Jayne, or Mal and Zoë, had been through. Even Book, Inara and Wash had their share of searching for a home before they found it. Only Kaylee had found it the first place she looked. River and he had both gotten it on their second try, River had thought the school would be her place and he had thought the hospital was his.

He was starting to see that for all that he had given up to save River; he had never given up anything really important. Just money and status, empty things. And he had found a home and a family. The two things he had never really had before. He glanced back up at Jayne. He was studying him, his face expressionless.

"In'a lotta ways me an' River ain't that far 'part, experience-wise," he said softly, surprising Simon. "May have been with a lotta whore's, but I ain't never courted..."

He cut off what ever he was going to say, looking hard at the door. For a moment Simon wondered what had distracted him; then he heard the faint screaming. His eyes met Jayne's, going wide with fear. They had both heard those screams before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ath, so good to see you again." Mal drawled at the face on the view screen. The man's smirk was makin' him tetchy already.

The others had filed in behind him, but were being careful to stay out of Atherton's line of sight. Mal was still workin' out how to play this. Didn't want Ath to think he wanted his crew back too much, also didn't want to play it too cool. If Ath thought he couldn't care less then Simon and Jayne were dead men.

"I believe I have something of yours, Captain," if anything Ath's smirk got even more vile. "I was very disappointed you left before we could meet to discuss a trade."

"Well, you know," Mal said carefully, "places to go, people to stab...I'm a busy man."

"Yes, I'm sure you are." Atherton replied coldly, a flash of anger wiping the smirk away. "I'm sure, since you are so busy, I can find others more interested in your crew. The Alliance seems rather eager to talk to your Doctor and a certain Magistrate Higgins has expressed some interest in Mr. Cobb."

Tamade, needed to step light here. No letting Ath get him all riled up. Man had obviously done some homework on his crew.

"Didn't say I wasn't interested in gettin' 'em back." Mal forced his voice to stay expressionless, "Jus' sayin' I don't have all the time in the 'verse. If you got a fast way of resolvin' this, I'm listenin'."

"I was hoping we could discuss that in private." the smirk was back on Ath's face.

"Seems private 'nough this way," Mal felt a sense of unease; if Ath wanted a trade he'd be face to face with him soon enough, why ask on a meetin' before hand. "You said somethin' 'bout a trade?" Ath stared back at him through the view screen, Mal started to worry that the man was goin' to insist on a meetin'.

"Yes, a trade." Ath said softly, almost like he was thinkin' something through. "You for your crew. A bargain, two for the price of one."

"Seems mighty strange you'd think I valued my crew more'n my own self." Mal studied Ath's reaction. He knew he'd be agreein' to this, but he wanted to know as much 'bout what he was gettin' into first as he could. And that calculatin' look on Ath's face made him all sorts of uncomfortable.

"Not so strange, Captain," his smug look made Mal long for this meetin'; so he could smash it off his face. "If you are willing to risk your life for a whore it stands to reason you would do no less for your crew."

Mal let the rage show on his face as Ath turned from the screen to speak to someone.

"I'll be right with you gentlemen..."

Mal barely had time to wonder what that buzzing sound was before blood started trickling down Atherton's upper lip. He watched in horror as Ath started gagging and choking on his own blood. Dimly aware the others had moved closer to see what was happening. The noise ended as Atherton slid from view.

A man he had never seen, and never wanted to see again, stepped into view and addressed him coldly.

"My apologies, Captain," he said, his voice utterly void of human emotion. "It appears Mr. Wing has had to bow out of your negotiations."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/profile)[**cassiee**](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/) and [](https://jebbypal.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://jebbypal.livejournal.com/)**jebbypal**
> 
> Chinese translations:  
> Go se: Crap  
> Ai ya: Damn  
> Hwoon dahn: Son of a bitch  
> Chusheng xai-jiao de xiang huo: animal fucking bastard

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My apologies, Captain," he said, his voice utterly void of human emotion. "It appears Mr. Wing has had to bow out of your negotiations."

River watched as a second figure moved into view behind the other. She felt the fear threatening to overwhelm her as she pulled Jayne's blanket tighter around her, his warm scent enveloping her like a shield. Dimly aware that everyone but Mal and herself had stepped back out of view. She wished she could escape those piercing eyes so easily. They pecked at her flesh, stripping, peeling, rending...

"Two by two, hands of blue...two by two, hands of blue..."

"I see Ms. Tam is still with you." A ghost of a smile settled on his lips, "Perhaps we can help each other out. We have no interest in you or your crew Captain, just in the safe return of Ms. Tam."

She felt the Captain's gaze on her; his irritation that she had not stayed out of sight. All sharp little pin pricks jabbing into her; not like Jayne's irritation, which was more like sandpaper rubbing against her. Her soul cried out for him, but he did not answer her call. And the blue hands were lying...lies from their lips...lies in their hands...lies in the blankness of their eyes...

"screaming, endless screaming...fluids flowing out of her brain, blue fluids...not red, not bright warm red...frigid blue...ice shards turned to water..."

"An' why is it so important to have Ms. Tam returned to you?" The Captain finally said to the Blue Hands. "Seems she's not to interested in returnin'."

"She had a breakdown at her school; we are trying to help her. We have only her best interests in mind; sadly she is unaware how sick she is. It is a rather sensitive and complex treatment she was undergoing. All you need to know of it is; if you bring us Ms. Tam, you and your crew will be richly rewarded." the Blue Hands expression was unreadable again, but River knew they did not mean to let the crew walk away from this. She stepped in front of the Captain before he could reply.

"Once there was a girl...shining and new...someone took a knife...and shoved it through..."

"my bonds are not yours to break...not yours to control..." She forced her eyes to meet the blue hands; a sudden rush of lucidity making her head swim, "and if either of them dies I will never be yours to open again."

"We'll be in touch." The Captain reached over and terminated the connection, his irritation turning to anger behind her.

"Run...need to run...vultures are coming to pick the flesh off the corpse..." She gazed up at him imploringly.

The Captain nodded curtly before turning to Wash and telling him to head for the black.

"Got anyplace in mind to run too?" he asked her dryly. His intense gaze bit into her.

"Whitefall..." she said softly, hoping the word that popped into her head first was the right one.

"Interesting choice," Mal stared hard at her for a moment, "Wash, head for Whitefall. An' I think you an' I need to have a little chat."

She nodded absently and headed for Jayne's bunk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neither of them had said a word since the screaming had ended, as abruptly as it began. The silence was starting to wear Simon's nerves thin. Or maybe it was that echo of the screams still ringing in his head. Jayne sat back down; having had no luck breaking down the door once the guards outside had left. Their footsteps had hurried away when the screaming started.

"Jayne?" he needed to hear someone's voice before he went mad. The merc glanced at him sharply.

"What?" Jayne snapped back. He was almost sure the edge to Jayne's voice was from the same panic he felt.

"Do you think they are all dead?" he couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Not the one's that done that to 'em." the merc replied.

Simon wished the two had stayed outside the door, guarding them. But somewhere deep inside he knew they wouldn't have been enough to protect them anyway. Just as he knew that whatever had killed the others was going to be coming for them soon. He glanced sharply at Jayne as the merc let out a bark of laughter.

"Two by two, hands of blue." The big man muttered, "Bet that's what the ruttin' hell is headin' this way. Least we're gonna get a better understandin' of River's worst nightmare. Who knows Doc, maybe if you ask all nice like they'll let ya know what they done to her."

"Yes..." he said slowly, "and perhaps they'll even leave my brain intact enough to remember it."

"If wishes were horses," Jayne started to say.

"We'd all be eating steak." Simon finished for him. As the two shared a grim smile, Simon realized it was the first time they had shared something resembling a joke. Oh, they had both laughed at others jokes at the same time, but a joke between them; that was new.

"I hope she's Ok," he said softly, "without either of us..."

"Cap'n'll take care of her," Jayne looked at him, a strange understanding between them, "an' if'n he don't, Kaylee's there ta smack him 'round."

Simon had to laugh at the image of Kaylee smacking anyone, much less her beloved Captain. He wondered if he'd ever see her sweet face again.

"I never got to give her that silly patch," he fought back the surge of sadness, "First present I buy her and I didn't even get to give it to her. I should have taken it over when we put the packages on the mule, I should have gone over and hugged her, said...something..."

"Like what? Goodbye?" Jayne asked him, his harsh tone softened by the oddly compassionate look in his eyes, "Ain't like we knew we was gonna get snatched Simon, life happens that way sometimes. We all got regrets."

"Jayne, if you could go back and do one thing in your life differently," Simon looked up at the big man questioningly. "What would it be?"

"Ya gettin' all philosophical on me, Doc?" Jayne gave him a puzzled look, "Hardly seems the time for a question like that."

"So when would be a good time," he said back dryly, "After we're both dead?"

"You're a morbid one, ain't ya?" Jayne grinned, then turned serious again, "Kay, if ya really wanna know...I'd'a not turned you'n River in ta the Fed's. An' you?"

"I'd have stopped River from going to that school.” He said softly.

"Ah, but then ya'd'a never met Kaylee," Jayne countered, "ya sure you'd want that?"

Simon stared back at him, a little shocked at the merc's logic. Would he be willing to give Kaylee up so his sister could have the childhood she deserved?

"See, that's the problem with these regret things," Jayne went on, "ya do somethin' different an it effects everythin' else. Can't never tell what might'a been. An' I got my own reasons for bein' glad ya can't change her goin' there. As selfish as yours, even. Hell, might even be that I had ta turn ya both in to become someone River'd want ta be with."

Had Jayne always had this intellectual side or was this some bizarre by-product of the bond with River? Simon wondered if he'd just been blinded by the man's crudity and piggishness. Kaylee had always believed there was more to the man, but then, she believed everyone to be better then they often seemed. Even him.

"They're coming." Jayne said warningly.

After a moment Simon heard the steady sound of footsteps. He stood uneasily, wondering if there was any chance of escape. With a sense of dread he glanced at Jayne; the merc had stayed seated, though there was nothing relaxed about him. As the door opened slowly, Simon turned to see who would enter.

From the fear River had shown at their arrival on Ariel he expected huge, hulking, intimidating men. Sort of Jayne clones with blue hands, only scarier. What he got were two men that, if it weren't for the blue gloves on their hands, looked like lawyers. Then he looked into their eyes and his blood ran cold.

They were obviously not related, but there was something about them; a strange feeling that they were two pieces of a whole. One was taller with thinning dark hair, while the other was shorter with reddish hair. Their faces had the same eerie expressionless stare. One of them stepped forward, the red haired one.

"Dr. Tam, so good to meet you at last." There was something very ominous about how he said that, though Simon could not for the life of him pin down what it was. "We were most concerned that Mr. Wing had been less then...gentle."

It seemed unreal that these two could have taken out all of Atherton Wing's guards alone, but there were no others standing outside the open door. Simon felt a shiver of unease as the taller one moved closer to Jayne, pulling a small metal rod out of his pocket.

"So, you came to "save" me?" he asked them in disbelief, eyeing the one warily. He caught the look on Jayne's face out of the corner of his eye; like he was facing down the Devil himself.

"In a manner of speaking." the man gave a cold smile, "We were hoping to enlist your aid in retrieving your sister."

"If you think I am going to help you continue your sick experiments on her," he moved closer to the man, unconsciously imitating Jayne's manner, "you are sadly mistaken."

"Oh, but you will help us, Dr. Tam." the man stated as the other activated the rod in his hand. "You have no choice in the matter."

There was a rustle as Jayne lunged for the man in front of him and Simon heard a buzzing from the rod; he turned abruptly towards Jayne and the other blue hand. A stab of fear hit his gut as he took in Jayne gasping, frozen by the sound. He'd heard rumors of scientists working on this type of weapon, something that could induce severe internal bleeding using sound vibrations. He had never dreamed anyone had made one.

"Stop, you'll kill him." he tried to get to the one attacking Jayne but the other grabbed him; he was far stronger then he looked.

"That is the point, Dr. Tam." He said calmly.

"You don't understand," Simon was close to panic, he could not face being held by these monsters alone. “If you kill him; you kill River."

Instantly the buzzing stopped and with it Jayne's screaming; but Simon feared the damage might be too great already. There was blood coming out of his eyes and nose. When he coughed up more Simon was sure his words had come too late. Might take a while for the big man to bleed to death, but it would happen. Still, the merc managed to give him a look that would have scared Satan witless.

"This man is bonded to your sister?" The first one asked him, seemly more surprised at whom it was she bonded with then that she had a bond.

"Yes." He said, a wave of exhaustion coming over him. He avoided Jayne's accusing look, he had given them another tool to use against her, but he had had no choice. For both River's and his own sake. "He is."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mal found himself following her into Jayne's bunk, why did she have to pick this place? He'd been down here a couple'a times to have a chat with Jayne, had never been a pleasant experience. For either of 'em.

"So, any insight into how deep'a go se we are in?" he asked her back. She was starin' at the space over his bunk. He realized with a slight shock that the bulkhead was clear. The gorram girl had gotten Jayne to take his girly pics down? She moved over to the wall and ran her fingers lightly over the cold metal.

"So is it still his room when it's empty? Does the room, the thing, have purpose? Or do we imbue the object with the purpose we wish it to have..."

"Killed Atherton before he told them who you were..." she added softly as she turned to him; seeming to come back from where ever she had been, "Can't let that advantage go...need to make plans...find somewhere safe..."

"An' you're thinkin' Whitefall is safe?" he asked her gently, in spite of his misgivings.

"It could be..." she sat down gracefully on Jayne's bunk. “Danger there too...but a chance for help as well..."

Mal sat down carefully in the chair, studying her intently; looking for any hint that the crazy girl that had just been muttering about brain fluids on his bridge was in control. Satisfied that it was the sane River back in command, he let himself relax a little.

"All right then, anything you can think to tell me would be appreciated here." He settled in to hear her out. She pulled her legs up, tucking them under her as she pulled the blanket around her. She looked like some strange pixie-faced teepee. One tiny, pale hand peeked out of the folds, holding it closed.

"Blue Hands don't know we are on Serenity...don't know who the crew is..." she started listing what she knew, eerily calm now that she was off the bridge, "probably take them to their facility there..."

"Ai ya, was hopin' they'd keep 'em at Ath's estate," he muttered, "Least 'Nara knows where that is."

"I know where it is..." she said softly, a haunted look coming over her, "was there...took me from the school...all their special ones...farther away from prying eyes...it is why they had Simon pick me up there...that was where I was..."

"Makes sense," he said thoughtfully, "From what we've been able to figure, they wouldn't want you all to close to scrutiny. All right then, 'least we got an idea where they'll be when we get a plan together. Anythin' else you want to say?"

She dipped her head down, letting her hair fall to cover her face; but not before he caught the flash of pain cross her face.

"River?" he asked, concerned. He leaned forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling helpless to comfort her as she lifted her gaze back to him. Tiny tears running down her cheeks; her eyes lookin' to big for her face. Her lower lip quivered as she spoke.

"Can't feel him...can't hear him..." her voice shook, and all Mal could do was gaze back. The implication of River not being able to feel Jayne was frightening. And he had no doubt that's who she was talkin' about. "He’s still there...know that much...not dead...just...out of reach...blocked..."

"Would you know?" he asked her, "Even not feeling him?"

"Yes...if he died I would know..." she said almost to soft for him to catch, her head dropping back down, "the bonding is not finished yet...but it is enough where I would know...it would affect me on a deep molecular level..." She turned her anguished eyes back on him.

"Saw him happy...saw him getting old...with me...playing with his girls...surrounded by pink...tiny pink monkey's climbing him like a mountain..." she choked on a sudden burst of laughter as it turned into a heart wrenching sob, "can't see it now...just blank where he was...slate cleaned and all future possibilities wiped away..."

She seemed to shrink into herself; Mal found himself moving over next to her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her for comfort. Just as they closed around her; her whole body convulsed, an ear-piercing shriek ripping out of her small frame. Mal thanked Book's God that he had her in his grip already as he pulled her away from the wall before her head smashed into it. He would have never been able to get a hold of her after this started.

He struggled to hold onto her and keep her hands pinned down. Gorram girl seemed like to scratch her fool eyes out. He heard Zoë drop down into the room just as River went limp in his arms. Mal loosened his grip as she sagged against him, gasping.

"Everything all right?" Zoë asked.

"Not sure yet, Zoë." he said distractedly as River reached up to wipe something off her lip, then her bloody hand dropped listlessly into her lap. With a muttered curse, Mal scooped her up. Noting with shock that there was blood mingled with the tears streaming down her face.

"Help me get her to the infirmary." he barked to Zoë. Between them they got her up the ladder and headed down the hall. The rest of the crew trailing behind them.

As soon as they reached the infirmary Mal and Zoë went to work, checking River's stats. Other then her elevated heart rate she seemed fine. Mal wished Ath was still alive so he could kill him again. That hwoon dahn had taken his crew, put 'em in harms way, and now he didn't even have that damn Doctor here to make sure his sister was going to live.

Least the rest of his crew were stayin' out from underfoot, only Inara had followed him an' Zoë in. He glanced over at her, noticing she was wiping River's face off.

"Well, near as we can tell, you're gonna be fine." he smiled encouragingly down at her. Even though his heart was still pounding from that scream of hers. Not to mention the hearing loss he had suffered, he thought dryly.

"sorry..." She whispered as her hand reached up to brush his ear lightly.

"I'm fine mei-mei." He pulled her hand down and patted it gently, "Gonna have to scream a bit louder then that to match some'a the things these old ears have heard. Not much, mind ya...you almost got that air raid siren pitch down," he gave her a lopsided grin.

"Any idea what happened back there?" He asked her, not wanting to upset her; but he needed to know what had happened if they were to help her.

"I think....I think they used that thing on him..." she said, her brow creasing, "the thing they used on Atherton and his men..."

"This mean you're feelin' him again?" He ignored Zoë and Inara's surprised murmurs. River shook her head no.

"Felt like they were using it on me..." she whispered softly, looking sadder then he'd ever seen, "wasn't like his pain...just mine..." Fresh tears streaked her face.

"Want a smoother?" he asked, poor girl had been through some tough times today. Might be a kindness to let her rest a bit.

"No," she said emphatically, "want to go back to Jayne's bunk...can rest there..."

He studied her for a moment, weighing the merits of letting her back in there. Not like he could keep her out if that's where she wanted to be. Girl had a way of gettin' what she wanted.

"Fine, but Kaylee stays with ya." He said at last, 'least this way the two could comfort each other some. An' if River started getting worse someone was there to come get him or Zoë. She smiled up at him, a little of her odd brilliance coming through. She lifted her head and fixed her gaze on Wash.

"Can I have my yarn?" she asked him.

"Right," Wash said back, "yarn-age coming right up."

"Yarn? There's more yarn?" Mal found himself asking, fighting off the shudder of horror. River giggled up at him.

"Got it...before..." her face fell, "put it on the mule on the way..." her voice trailed off.

"Right, got it," Mal said quickly, before she started gettin' weepy again, "we have yarn-age again."

"Got more then yarn." River looked over at Kaylee with a sad little smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jayne lie quietly on the exam table, pretending to be passed out from the drugs they had given him. Havin' drugs take longer to affect him then those that doped him up figured they would had always come in handy for him. He was still a little pissed at Simon for revealing that him an' River were bondin' to these chusheng xai-jiao de xiang huo. Though it had saved his hide, and possibly River's as well.

They'd run a few scans on him when they first got him here. Simon had been taken off someplace else, probably some kinda cell. He hoped once they was done here they'd take him there as well. Be easier to get 'em both out if they were together. Didn't have nothing ta do with worryin' 'bout the gorram Doctor. He risked another quick peek at his surroundings, the one that seemed ta be in charge had finally finished lookin' at his scans.

He heard the Doctor move over to speak to the two men that had been standin' silently by the door. Making sure to keep his body visibly relaxed, he strained to hear what they was sayin'.

"It appears that you stopped the process before he was permanently damaged. It seems likely that his bond with the subject allowed him to take more then is usual." Jayne noted the authoritative tone to the Doctor’s speech; man was not pleased 'bout something. "I expected better, you should have assessed the situation more thoroughly before acting. You almost managed to terminate our best link to the subject and you did terminate the one that knew where she was."

"The contact was arranging a deal with the ship's Captain that did not benefit us." The tall, dark haired one said calmly.

"Yes, well," the Doctor said sternly, "now I have to deal with a very upset stockholder, Mr. Wing's father is displeased with his son's early demise. As necessary as it may have been, this is going to have unpleasant repercussions. And now we shall have to find a way of undoing this bond if we are to use the subject as planned, it is most unfortunate that she was not recovered before this could happen. We had such hopes that she would not require a bonding at all."

"We may still be able to salvage this, in spite of everything." Jayne sensed the Doctor moving back over to where he lay, "If she truly is bonded to this one, there are ways we can use that to our advantage. We might be able to give her an incentive to return to us on her own."

"Put him with the other for now." He said coldly.

Jayne felt he did a masterful job of actin' all groggy an' drugged as they dragged him off the table and down the hall. Even managed not to stop himself from fallin' as they tossed him into the room. Not that it'd been too hard, those gorram drugs seemed ta be kickin' in. He tried to hold back a grimace as Simon scurried over an' started pokin' at him.

"I'm fine Doc," he grumbled at Simon; damn it, now his ruttin' legs weren't workin' right, "jus'...help me get on the damn bunk."

"Jus' gonna lay here an' rest a bit..." he sank into the thin mattress, tryin' to remember what he was gonna tell Simon as unconsciousness crept over him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaylee sat and watched River pulling the yarn out of the packages; she reached out a hand and tentatively stroked the pretty pastel ones, not wantin' to get engine grease on 'em. They was so soft an' fuzzy. She could jus' imagine them all knit into little blankets. Precious little babies wrapped up safe and sound in their warm folds.

Her gaze drifted up to River's face, poor thing looked all exhausted like. How was she holdin' together so well? They'd taken her brother an' the man she loved an' whatever they'd done to 'em that made her scream like that...it'd sounded like they was ripping her heart out. Jus' thinkin' on it made her blood run cold. It'd been even worse'n hearin' Ath's screams. 'Course, that hwoon dahn had deserved what he got an' River hadn't. River suddenly leaned over an' gave her a fierce hug.

"I'm fine, Kaylee..." she whispered, her voice soundin' a bit ragged from the abuse it'd had, "Simon got you a present..."

Kaylee felt the sting of tears rush back up to the surface. Seemed all she'd done today was cryin'.

"He did?" The tremor in her voice made her cringe a bit; damn it, why'd she have ta be such a baby.

Simon had got her a present, she should be happy. But Simon weren't here ta give it too her, he was bein' held God knows where by men doin' God knows what to him. Weren't right, what if she never saw him again? What if they never got 'em back? She bit back'a sob an' forced herself to take the fuzzy pink thing from River.

It was a pink Bunny patch. 'Bout the same size as her Teddy Bear one, it was the most adorable thing she'd ever seen. He had the sweetest expression on his little bunny face. One big tear dropped down onto the Bunny's face, darkenin' the material where it hit his cheek.

She felt River's arms around her again; dimly aware River was pullin' her down to lay next to her. She'd pulled Jayne's blanket over them both. The two of 'em curlin' up under it as they let the tears wash some of the pain away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/profile)[**cassiee**](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/) and [](https://jebbypal.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://jebbypal.livejournal.com/)**jebbypal**
> 
> * Quote from Delta Rain, by The Blessing
> 
> Chinese translations:  
> Hwoon dahn: Son of a bitch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zoe paused in the doorway to the bridge; she loved seeing her husband like this. He'd taken a break from playing with the dinosaurs to go over some charts. Mal had asked him to plot a less direct route to Whitefall, just in case. His face was serious and calm as he hunched over the console.

Smiling serenely, she walked over and smoothed his hair down. He had a habit of running his fingers through it when he was concentrating or nervous, made it stick up kinda funny. In a cute, totally sexy way.

"Hey wife," he turned and gave her that smile that always made her feel warm and loved, seeing that smile was like finding home every time. "Thought you'd gone to bed."

"Not yet," she leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss. "Mal wanted to talk some thing over. Like how to deal with Patience if that is what River has in mind."

"I'm still for the shooting her first thing." he said jokingly.

"Hardly conductive to getting her to help us, wouldn't you think?" Zoe responded with a smile, settling down next to him in her favorite spot.

"See, I'm just not seeing the whole Patience helping us out thing." a slight frown creased his brow. Zoe resisted the urge to smooth it out.

"Me either." she said softly, turning slightly so she could gaze out at the black. "I hope River knows what she is looking to find there."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inara sat before her cortex screen, studiously going over her client lists for the past few years. She'd started with the vain hope that she'd run across one they might turn to for help, even though she knew Mal would never allow her to expose herself, or them, in that way. But it had been something she could do to feel useful. Instead, all she had discovered was that over 90% of her former clientele had strong ties to either the Alliance or Blue Sun. She wasn't sure if she was more disturbed by that fact or that she had never noticed it before.

She had always prided herself on being an extremely observant person. But this had never caught her eye, probably because it was so accepted; wealth and prestige went hand in hand with Alliance ties and Blue Sun was the largest corporation in the Core. Still, she should have seen this. She turned as Mal's light footsteps entered the shuttle.

"'Nara." He said his voice weary. He hovered for a moment by the door; it still surprised her how he seemed so uncertain of his welcome at times. It was so at odds with his habit of barging in uninvited on most other occasions. She'd learned to judge what he needed from her by it; the more hesitant he was, the more he needed to talk something out, or simply relax and get away for a bit.

"You should rest," She told him gently as she rose. "There isn't much you can do till we reach Whitefall." She watched as he sat down on the couch.

"An' that's the whole problem," He muttered, "Feelin' more'n a mite useless right now." A wry smile touched his lips. She settled comfortably next to him, her knees pressing lightly against his as she half-turned to face him.

"River didn't tell you why she thinks we need to go to Whitefall?" She asked him, concerned.

"It seems she's not sure herself what we're lookin' for there." Mal answered, a slight undertone of frustration creeping in.

"So, we really have no plan beyond getting there at this point." She stated softly.

"Yep, that's the whole plan." His face settled into determined lines, "Still, we got a few ideas worked on just in case."

"That's good." Inara smiled at him. His head tilted back and he closed his eyes, she watched as the tension eased out of him a bit. He never truly relaxed, she mused to herself. His guard was always up, even when sleeping. She was beginning to understand the full meaning behind the phrase "sleeping with one eye open". Mal fit it perfectly.

She had never dreamed her and Mal would end up like this. Well, maybe a little dream; she smiled ruefully as she brushed a lock of his hair back into place. He turned his head to her and cracked one eye open to peer at her.

"Lay down." She ordered him gently as she slid away from him. When it appeared he wasn't going to comply she added teasingly. "Or are you planning on sleeping sitting up?"

"Well, usually when one sleeps layin' down they move to the bed." He drawled back at her.

"It's a little awkward rubbing your temples when we are on the bed." She gave a husky laugh at his befuddled expression. For all that they had been getting close the past month or two, they had not indulged in much physical contact outside of a sexual context. Most of their time  
together had been spent talking, punctuated by wonderful bursts of lovemaking. But she'd been oddly hesitant to offer him anything like a massage before. The fear that it would remind him that she'd been trained to cater to a client’s every whim had been too strong.

"Well now..." He paused, obviously lost for words, "that's an offer not to be refused." Still, he stretched out slowly. His blue eyes gazing up at her questioningly; giving her a chance to change her mind about this. The curve in the couch made things a bit difficult; but after she nodded her consent to him Mal settled himself in a comfortable position, his head resting on Inara's lap. The thought that she had never been in such an intimate position before drifted across her mind.

With her clients, well, she had certainly never let one of them rest their head in her lap like this. Almost all physical contact occurred on the bed. A few times she had given a back or neck rub to a client as they sat in her chair near the cortex screen, foot rubs she performed with the client resting on the couch while she knelt on the floor. Never like this. This left her feeling vulnerable. And the oddest part was that she didn't mind that vulnerable feeling. A part of her told her she would never be able to go back to shutting her emotions off into a little corner anymore. Not to the degree she would need to do, to return to her former life.

In all honesty, giving up her Companion status had been more of a relief then she had thought it would be. It had been getting increasingly difficult to do even before she gave into this. Just something about Mal, being around him, made her long for something...more. She had tried to run when the cracks in her control first became clear. When she had come across him the morning after him and Nandi...even now she could not think of that day without a sharp jab of pain.

It had been too late to run by then. Mal and Serenity had already gotten a firm hold on her. And maybe, just maybe, Zoe had the right of it that some things were worth fighting to keep hold of. She smiled tenderly down at his sleeping face, a sense of wonder that he was letting her watch over his dreams filling her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jayne pulled himself from sleep slowly, he was still feeling groggy from the drugs. He knew that it must be sometime early morning, which meant they'd been captured goin' on 24 hours now.

He turned his head to look at Simon; the Doc's soft snorin' had been enough to tell he was still there. He had kinda a girly snore, figured. Here he was stuck in some godforsaken hellhole with Simon, it was rather ironical. Of all the folks on Serenity, Simon was his least favorite. He knew a lot of that had initially been due to Simon's presence ending any chance of gettin' anywhere with Kaylee. Not that it had ever been a big chance; Kaylee always viewed him more like a brother.

Truth was, he viewed her more like a sister too. It'd just been so long since he'd had call to care for any but himself that he'd figured, at first, that it was because he wanted more then friendship from her. But even in a big brother kinda way, Kaylee's interest in the young Doc had bugged him no end. Man was stuffy beyond belief and had not a lick of sense in him. Of course, he thought with a smirk, he himself weren't the type no big brother would ever want ta see their sister with.

There was a certain poetry to the way things had turned out; Kaylee and River being best friends, him and Simon...not, but Simon had ended up gettin' the girl he'd come ta think on as bein' a sister, and he'd ended up with Simon's actual sister. And Simon was takin' it all better'n he'd have thought possible. Oh sure, he got in his share of quips about him still. But they were lacking some of the bite they used ta have. Heck, even his own barbs was getting a mite dull where Simon was concerned.

It was almost like they was coming to an understandin' of sorts. Not that he'd ever tell Simon this, but he'd always felt a certain admiration for what he'd done for River. And at St. Lucy's he'd seen the Doctor that Simon could'a been. Would have been if he hadn't tossed it all away for his sister. That'd been the second time that day he'd almost gone back on his plan to turn 'em in. First time'd been when River woke and said that thing 'bout a copper for a kiss. If it hadn't been so gorram close to that bit about Judas from the Bible that Pa used ta read 'em on Sunday's, he'd'a thought she was flirtin' with him.

He should'a known after he felt that urge not to turn them in for the third time that maybe it wasn't his brightest idea; that one'd come after Simon told him 'bout them cutting into her brain like that. Makin' it so's she felt everything. But being honest here, he hadn't really started to get how bad he'd messed up till Mal hit him with that gorram wrench and put him in the airlock to space him. His teachers always said he was a bit slow. He was startin' ta think they'd been right.

What if's--regrets. They were tricky things, like he'd told Simon last night. Part of him wondered what would'a been if they hadn't gotten out of there, if Mal and Zoe hadn't been on the other side of that door, if Mal hadn't decided to spare him at the last moment. He knew it was pointless worrin' on it now, things had worked out, in spite of everything. He'd learned somethin' from it, or had started on learnin' it anyways. But it scared him that so many things could'a happened different and if they had, he'd be dead.

He had no doubt if those Blue Hand creeps'd gotten hold of them then, he'd have been more'n worthless to them. So they'd'a killed him sure. Probably Simon too, though they might'a found a use for him. And River, he didn't even want ta think what they'd be doing to her now if they had her. That scared him worse then knowin' he'd be dead. Of course, those hwoon dahn might not have River now, but they did have him and they knew he was bonded to her. No telling how they planned ta use that, but he was sure it weren't gonna be enjoyable. For him or River.

And that thing the Doctor had said 'bout finding a way to break the bond. Maybe part of him had been all uncertain he wanted this bond at first; never in a million years would have thought he, Jayne Cobb, would end up in whatever kind of relationship he had with River. But now that he had it the thought of it bein' taken from him brought out all kinds of worry in him. Only thing he'd ever had in his life so precious to him had been Ma and Timmie and he'd lost both of 'em, he weren't 'bout to lose River too.

Even though it felt a bit like he already had. This not feeling her in his mind was drivin' him crazy. In the past month or so they had gotten even closer; her presence, cool and soft, always at the edge of his senses. The stray thoughts and images he picked up from her gettin' more frequent an' clear. Most of the time it was just that feeling that she was there; knowing, always where she was. She could be on the other side'a the ship and he could pinpoint her exact location on a map. But the last clear feeling of her being there had been her warning right before Atherton and his men had shown up.

Jayne's lip curled a bit as he went over that moment again; River's warning had been filled with fear for Simon. Her voice ripping through his mind screaming Simon's name and the fear that someone was after him. He knew it shouldn't bug him that she hadn't been concerned for him, likely she'd felt he could take care'a himself. Plus, Simon was her brother, course she'd be all concerned for him. But it would'a been nice to have felt at least a flash'a worry for him too.

He let out a sigh as Simon started to stir over on the other cot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

River gently climbed over Kaylee's sleeping form, careful not to wake her. She stood for a moment gazing down, envying that Kaylee had found some measure of peace in sleep. Her own dreams had been more troubling then restful. With a sigh she turned to look around Jayne's room.

She had been down here three times before; the first had been the night she had come to tell him his Ma had died. It had been too dark that night to take in much, and she had been more focused on other things. Like her promise and admiring Jayne. A smile curved her lips as she remembered how he had looked that night, all peaceful and vulnerable.

The other two times had been in the week after that, before they reached his family’s home. She'd followed him down when he'd tried to hide from her. He'd been so angry at her then, angry and scared, yelling at her to get the hell outta his bunk. She had not seen much those times either, not with Jayne blocking her from getting much further in then the ladder. She could have followed him down after, but that had been too dangerous, too tempting for things that should not happen yet to happen.

Only now they might not ever happen and if she had let them happen before then she would be able to feel him now. She would not be empty and alone. Only able to feel what they did to him and not able to feel him. That warm, savage, earthy, primal presence of him.

And she would have the memories of touching him; sliding her hands over his bare skin, tangling in his dark chest hair, the firm muscles resting underneath his warm skin. Of his sounds and smells, his taste and touch, feeling him inside her. She'd have more then a couple kisses and the feeling of being held in his arms while they snuggled on the chair together to remember. More then the feel of his hard body pressing against hers through the layers of their clothes, his eyes darkening with desire at even her slightest touch.

She looked down at the shirt clutched in her hand, wondering when she had pulled it out of its drawer. It was one of her favorites on him, all tight and a faded reddish brown color, like the rusted walls of Kaylee's engine room. He'd been wearing it the day she had told him she could kill him with her mind. As she peeked into the drawer at his other shirts she felt a little surprised at the care they were folded with. Tentatively she sniffed at the shirt, yes, it had a faint trace of his smell on it. So even though he kept them neat they were not necessarily unworn. She folded it back up and tucked it away with the others.

She quietly opened each of the other drawers on the small dresser, checking the location of everything with meticulous care; pants and a ragged, bulky sweater in the bottom one, the shirts in the middle drawer along with socks and his boxers. The top drawer held odds and ends; cigars, a bottle of whiskey, some darning tools, a lot of spare ammo, his wrist bands and a couple pairs of gloves. And one small box.

With trembling hands she pulled it out cautiously, a little shiver of fear that he'd be upset at her for seeing this. After a quick peek at Kaylee to make sure she still slept, she opened the box slowly. On top was a picture of Timmie and him, probably around 10 or so. They were both wearing their Sunday best, Timmie all smiles, Jayne looking like he wanted to be elsewhere, like a mud puddle. She could hear the cajoling his Ma had done to get him to pose nicely and the degeneration into pulling Timmie's pigtails that had come after the picture was shot.

The next one was of the whole family, Matty just a baby. His Ma sitting in a chair holding Matty with his Pa standing behind her, his hand resting on the back of the chair easily. Allie standing straight next to him, looking a little out of place, all prim and proper with a slightly sour look on her face. Jayne next to her, even in the picture he looked fidgety; River got the distinct impression photo days had not been among his favorites. Timmie was on the other side of their Pa, beaming away. Her smile really had been as bright at Kaylee's.

Then there was a wedding photo, his parents looking young and carefree. They appeared to be in their late teens. The lines etched onto their faces by a hard life trying to raise four children on a small holding and a lowly wielders wages not yet evident. Here they were simply two young adults very much in love and looking towards a life spent together.

Jayne and Matty both favored their father strongly, especially Jayne. She was sure their Pa had been nearly as tall as Jayne, maybe an inch shorter. Allie and Timmie favored their Ma, lighter haired and more slightly built, with their mothers eyes, almost oriental looking except for the pale coloring. Timmie however, had been fairly tall, almost rivaling Zoe.

The last picture was of Timmie alone. A portrait posed for on her eighteenth birthday. She had the familiar warm smile in place and was wearing a white party dress, oddly reminiscent of Kaylee's pink one, lots and lots of ruffles and a big hoop skirt. It had a scooped neckline that showed a tasteful amount of cleavage. River wished there was a matching one of Jayne, but she knew that he had managed to hide away from his Ma that day. Someday she'd have to talk him into posing for a picture for her.

She put the photos back in order and closed them back in the box. After she replaced the box in the drawer; she bent down to peek under the bed. Seeing the box his Ma had sent his hat in she pulled it towards her. She already knew what was in this one, but she opened it anyway. He had cleaned all the packing hay out and inside was a small string, a short length of leather actually. The one he had tied her hair back with when they visited the graves. She had returned it to him later that night. And resting next to it was the slender Cortex tube holding the copy of "Jane Eyre" she had gotten Inara to download.

They looked a little lonely in there by themselves. But then, she hadn't really given him anything yet, except the blanket which he slept under every night. The sweater was more his Ma's work then hers.

Working on a sudden impulse; she pulled a slender lock of hair from behind her ear, braiding the strands quickly. She opened the junk drawer to grab his small scissors and snipped off the braid then looped it and tied off the ends with the leather strip. With a solemn kiss, she vowed that Jayne would find it someday and placed it in the box.

After pushing the box back in place she stood and glanced around again, really not much to look at. He was not one for knick-knacks. A simple man with simple needs. He bought his ammo; occasionally a new gun or knife, cigars and some booze, kept some money for emergencies and most of the rest went back to his family.

He hadn't even been visiting the whore houses much lately, even before he had become aware of their bonding. Being around couples that loved each other so much had started to make the whoring seem empty. Started making him want more then just sex, even if he would never have admitted as much. It was a part of why he had accepted what was growing between them so easily, he really had not put up that much of a fuss about it. All things considered.

She spied a strange object resting between the dresser and the wall. Curious, she pulled it out, it was a hollowed out branch that was sealed at both ends. With a puzzled frown she turned it in her hands. As the sound of rain come from it she felt a surge of delight.

_And through the gutters there will be water_  
_Running wilder than the sea and as the rain comes down_  
_A thousand circles fade like you and me_  
_They call us lovers because our bony legs are tied_  
_Once more to seed, but there ain’t nothing I won’t risk_  
_To set this bird of love fly free*_

As she turned the rain stick over in her hands she discovered that by varying the speed, she could make it a gentle rain or a thunderstorm. She stood there transfixed. Letting the gentle rain sounds go for two or three turns, then throwing in a faster turn for some thunder.

"What's that?" she jumped at Kaylee's sleepy question. As she turned Kaylee giggled. "Sorry, didn't mean ta startle ya."

"It's a rain stick," she beamed at Kaylee as she held it out for her to see, "found it over there."

Kaylee scooted over to the edge of Jayne's bunk to get a better look.

"I heard'a those," She said with a smile, "Can I try it?"

River sat down next to Kaylee and handed her the rain stick, noticing that Kaylee still had her Bunny clutched in one hand. Thinking on Jayne's keeping the string and Kaylee's holding onto Simon's patch even in her sleep, she realized that they all tended to collect things that brought their loved ones closer to them. Her wearing Jayne's things to strengthen the bond between them was simply a more extreme form of the practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon rubbed the grit out of his eyes and looked back at Jayne. He'd been up most of the night making sure the big man wasn't going to die on him. It was miraculous that the merc had managed to live after what had been done to him; Simon doubted he was aware just what those rods were designed to do to a person. It should have turned his insides into mush in mere seconds, yet it seemed that it hadn't.

Maybe Jayne's guts were tougher then the normal persons, might explain why it took more drugs then it does to down a large elephant to put him out. Not for the first time, Simon found himself wondering how Jayne had gotten from the humble holding they had seen to Serenity. But then, everyone on Serenity had secrets except for Kaylee. And himself, they all knew how he'd gotten there. And why. Even River's path was more clouded then his own.

"Ya hear that, Doc?" Jayne asked, cutting into his reverie, "Sounds like it's rainin' out there."

"I don't hear anything." Simon said slowly.

"Really?" Jayne responded in surprise. "There's thunder an' everything."

"Well, it seems your hearing is better then mine." Simon replied dryly.

"Yep." Jayne smirked back at him. The man really was insufferable, Simon was sure the merc took great pride in taking even his most offensive comment as a complement. His gaze sharpened as the big man started humming softly to himself. It was a haunting melody. Not at all the type of thing he would expect Jayne to be humming, especially at a time like this. In fact, he was sure he'd never heard anything remotely resembling a tune come out of Jayne before. Well, except for that time on Canton, but that hardly counted as a tune.

"What song is that?" He asked him, curious.

"What song?" Jayne looked at him with a frown.

"The one you were just humming." He said with an exasperated sigh. Was it such a complicated question?

"I wasn't hummin'" Jayne growled at him, giving him a strange look.

"Yes, you were." He argued back. "It was something I've never heard before, it went like this..." He hummed back what he could recall. Jayne gazed back at him, his brow creased. Then he suddenly went pale.

"I was hummin' that?" Jayne asked his voice oddly harsh.

"Yes...you all right?" Simon asked him, concerned by the big man's unusual behavior.

"Yea..." Jayne muttered back distractedly, "I'm fine. It's jus', well, River sang that to me a couple'a times. Ain't sure what it is, never heard it all the ways through."

"You heard it from River? When?" Simon asked, rapidly going from stunned to wondering why he was surprised. The merc gave him an uncomfortable look. Simon got the feeling this might be another one of those "he really didn't want to know" topics.

"First time was that night things started 'tween us." Jayne said softly, his gaze drifting off. "After she came ta herself a bit...she was tellin' me 'bout feeling you all. How it never stopped, with all three couples it was one right after the other. Falling, always falling; she said...asked me to catch her. I tried ta tell her I wasn't the kind she wanted catchin' her."

"Yes," Simon responded dryly, "I'm sure you were quite noble about it." This was definitely not a topic he really wanted to be on. Not now, not when he'd been starting to feel he could handle River and Jayne being together. Of course, most men would not be so honest about this topic with a girl's brother as Jayne was liable to be.

"If ya don't wanna talk 'bout it..." Jayne started to say with a hurt tone.

"No, no...sorry," Had he really just apologized to Jayne? "It's just...hard sometimes. The way you talk about River, I'm not used to it. I suppose I should not have been surprised though, it's not like I didn't have any warning that you found her attractive."

"Ya did?" Simon had to chuckle at the puzzled frown on the merc's face.

"Well...you did have a pretty good hold on me the first time you saw her." Was that embarrassment on Jayne's face? Simon would not have thought that it was possible the man would feel ashamed of his body’s reaction to seeing River naked.

"Well...uh...yea..." Jayne stammered, but before the merc could form a coherent reply the door slid open to reveal the two Hands of Blue.

As he and Jayne stood up, the two men entered the room. Simon watched as they moved over to Jayne's side, each of them taking hold of an arm.

"Where are you taking him?" He found himself asking, partially to head off anything stupid that Jayne might do.

"The Doctor has a few questions for Mr. Cobb." The light haired one replied coldly. "You are to remain here for now, Dr. Tam. To help ensure Mr. Cobb's co-operation, a guard will be just outside the door."

Simon fought down the wave of helplessness and anger as they led Jayne out the door, leaving him alone with his thoughts again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/profile)[**cassiee**](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/) and [](https://jebbypal.livejournal.com/profile)[**jebbypal**](https://jebbypal.livejournal.com/)
> 
> Chinese translations:  
>  Qingwa cao de liumang: frog humping sumbitch  
>  tianna: Oh god

<><><><><><><><><>

Jayne threw a warning glance at Simon over his shoulder, hopin' the Doc wouldn't do anything all stupid-like. As the door slid shut behind him he turned and allowed the Blue Hands to lead him down the hallway. He made sure to carefully note the direction they took and all the turns they made along the way. Wouldn't pay to get lost while they were trying to make a get-a-way, and the drugs had clouded his mind when they brought him to this part of the complex last night. He just hoped they were taking him to the same room as before so his mental map was complete. All these gorram white hallways looked the same.

He could just picture River's face if they tried to escape an' got caught cuz he couldn't find his way out. Her expression caught somewhere between disappointment and amusement. This was, of course, assuming that they did get out eventually so he could tell her 'bout it.

Gorramit, he thought as they lead him into the room, this one was bigger, darker, an' had no exam table, just some funky looking chair thing sitting next to a tall machine. Only part of it that looked normal was the light at the top of it. It had these odd tubes running down it an' something that stuck out towards the chair, looked to be 'bout head level. The Blue Hands led him over to it. Jayne could feel his panic rising just from looking at that unholy contraption.

He fought back the urge to make a break for it as they pushed him into the chair, did him no ruttin' good getting away without Simon. Even if Mal let him live then River sure as hell wasn't going ta. She'd made it pretty clear where her priorities lie in this matter when she'd screamed for Simon. He was just gonna have to suffer through whatever the hell they was planning on doing till he figured a way to get them both out alive.

The arms of the chair started humming as the dark haired Blue Hand touched a keypad. Jayne's control snapped hearing that humming, so like the noise the rods had made. But his muscles were frozen in place. The door slid open again and three Doctors entered the room. Least, he thought they was Doctors, all dressed in white lab coats. Couldn't see their faces though, each of them wore a mask over their face and heads, like he was contagious or something.

The Blue Hands left the room as one of the Doctors started tapping out a pattern on the keypad. Jayne could hear the soft shifting of gears before he caught sight of the needle tipped tubes extending towards his temples. As they started driving into his skull the first scream ripped out of his throat.

<><><><><><><><><>

Book set the kettle on the stove to heat up water for his morning tea. It still felt odd to not see the Captain sitting at the table with a fresh pot of coffee when he entered the kitchen after Book got up, but he was starting to adjust. It was a routine that the Captain had followed far longer than Book had been aboard Serenity. But now, more often than not, he found himself awake before the younger man or at least in the mess before him. Book's lips twitched slightly in the amused knowledge that the Captain was very likely still the first one awake.

He never would have imagined when he left the Abby that this is where his path would take him. At first glance it had appeared that he had landed in the Lion's Den. Despite Kaylee's perception and he'd never try to change it, Book had found himself stuck on a near derelict transport with a bitter veteran of a war he himself had fought on the other side of. Nor had he ever believed that Mal would allow him to remain for so long. Even after he had learned some of Book's past he had not asked him to leave. Of course, he still did not know the full story.

Upon hearing soft giggles in the hallway, Book composed his thoughts back into their normal calm patterns. Kaylee and River entered the mess with their arms entwined. River held a rain stick in her other hand and Kaylee was making a joke about River playing with Jayne's stick that had Book's ears turning a bit red. At River's ribald reply he hastily cleared his throat.

"Good morning," he said, the words came out more stiffly than he'd meant them to. Both of the girls looked at him with embarrassed expressions.

"Mornin' Shepard," Kaylee chirped up at him, recovering first. "We was...um.... talkin’ 'bout the rain stick here."

"Yes, I'm sure you were," he said dryly as they dissolved into giggles again. "There's water for tea, or coffee if you prefer."

"Coffee for me, thanks," Kaylee moved over to pour herself a cup. "I best be checkin' on Serenity. Can't be having her thinkin' I'm neglecting her." With a little wave of her hand, she wandered off to the engine room.

Book noted with amusement that River gave a slightly panicked glance at her friend's retreating back. He suspected that River had avoided being alone with him ever since her and Jayne had started their odd courtship. He noticed that her hair was back to its former disheveled state while he waited patiently for her to finish hovering inside the doorway. She'd been looking a lot less like a neglected waif the past month or so, ever since Jayne had taken to brushing her hair out each morning in the mess. The tender way the Mercenary had while interacting with the girl had actually gone a long way to assuaging his earlier reservations about the pairing. She definitely brought out the gentle side of him.

It was quite a change from the way she had brought out the vicious side of Jayne at first. Of course, Jayne had not brought out the best in River at first either. The way the couple had overcome their stormy beginning gave Book hope that no act was unforgivable if one chose to see past it.

"He can't forgive if he does not know," River said gently, her head tilting off to the side as she gazed at him. She moved gracefully the rest of the way into the room and sat down. "Perhaps it would be easier to seek it from him if you forgave yourself."

"Perhaps," he agreed softly. A little unnerved that he could still be caught off-guard by the girl's perceptiveness.

"But you did not wish to ask me about the Captain." He watched as her body tensed while she leveled her gaze at him.

"No child," he said softly, smiling reassuringly at her. "I wanted to ask you about Jayne. He is a fair bit older than you, are you sure this is what you want?"

River contemplated him for a moment, seeming to study his intent as much as his question. "Yes Preacher," she said softly, "this is what I want. Even if I did have a chance to meet a boy my age, what would we have in common? What would he understand of nightmares, of torture and having your soul shattered into a million pieces and the struggle to put oneself back together? And why is it everyone has had at least a moment of worry that I am being taken advantage of, but not one of you has ever wondered about my intentions to Jayne?"

"Do we have need to worry about your intentions?" he asked her gently.

"No, but so far he has not received any benefits from this," her brow creased in thought. "Just frustrated desire and a mental and emotional bond he never wanted. Whereas I have. I wanted and needed the bond. I sought it out, encouraged it to grow until it could not be denied." She looked at him with sad eyes.

"I was not entirely honest with him," her gaze dropped pensively to her teacup. "I did not tell him that the bond needed to be accepted to fully develop. Made it seem that it simply was. I knew that it made him uncomfortable, was afraid he would reject it. So I never told him that he could walk away from it, from me."

"But he did try to fight it and yet, in the end, he chose to accept it. Did he not?" Book reasoned with her. "Even though you did not tell him."

Book could tell that she didn't entirely believe him even though she was grateful for his words. He gave her hand a comforting pat and rose to get them some tea. The feeling of failing someone in your care through an act of negligence in giving them all the pertinent data was one he knew well. He sighed softly as he poured the hot water into the cups.

Some small sound behind him set his senses on edge. He saw River sitting frozen at the table as he turned, her eyes wide with horror. He quickly put down the tea pot and moved over to her. The effort to hold back the emotions threatening to overwhelm her showed clearly in the tense lines of her body.

“River?” he knelt down and gently took her hands. “River, is it Jayne? Can you tell what they are doing to him?” He silently cursed his un-thoughtful question. His moment of concern over Jayne’s safety was likely the last thing the girl needed right now.

She shook her head stiffly. There was something about the movement and the rigidness of her pose that reminded Book of a torture victim helplessly bound down to a chair. He could see she was holding back a scream as the tears welled up in her eyes.

“I’m right here River, stay with me,” he told her gently. Book desperately racked his brain for some words of comfort for the girl. It was obvious that something was happening to Jayne and that River could feel it despite what she had told the Captain about not sensing him. That gave him little insight into how to help her however.

If Jayne were here he would simply scoop the delicate girl up in his arms and block all this out. Of course, if Jayne were here there would be no need for it. He pushed his unproductive rumination away as she let out a gasp.

“Needles…digging in…drilling for oil…” she whimpered in fear. “Opening the skull…digging out the unwanted bits…”

Book shuddered at the image she invoked. He wondered if this was connected to what they were doing to Jayne or a flashback to what had been done to her. He rubbed her hands between his own, hoping the firm contact would help her maintain some sense of his presence while he came up with a way to help her.

He smiled grimly at the insight that all his Shepard’s training was less effective than Jayne’s hulking presence. The firm, steady footsteps of the Captain heading toward the mess allowed Book a moment of relief. The girl seemed to be under her own control for the moment but it was best to have backup nearby when River was this close to the edge. And perhaps the Captain would have an idea on how to help her through this.

“Captain,” he said by way of greeting as the Captain and Inara entered. “It seems that our blue handed friends are rather fond of hurting Jayne.”

“Not the same,” River muttered softly, her head shaking slightly in negation. “Not the blue waves smashing the rock to bits…drilling this time…making holes and pulling out the insides…” Book watched helplessly as tears seeped out of the corners of her eyes. Her hands moved up to his temple where the tips of her fingers pressed in as if they were needles. Her next words came out in a whimper of pain. “Can feel them drilling the holes…but I can’t feel what they are drilling into…doesn’t want me there…doesn’t want me to feel…”

Her curled hands dropped down to grab his, digging into the back of his hands painfully like claws. He gently shifted his hands so they were over hers. Her eyes went wild as he pressed her fingers out flat between his palms. “If we dig deep enough we can pull the girl out…we can pull her through him and capture her in a bottle and keep her where she belongs.”

Book glanced up at the Captain in the hope that the other man had some insight into how to help the girl. Unfortunately the Captain looked as perplexed as he felt. He watched as Malcolm put a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder, but she seemed unaware of the contact. There seemed to be someone else looking out at them through her eyes, someone malevolent and cold. The feeling that they were losing her was becoming overwhelming.

“Inara,” Mal said. “Can you go get one’a Simon’s smoothers?”

“Shouldn’t we try some of Jayne’s things?” she asked with a worried frown.

“I’m thinking now’s not a good time to deepen the contact,” the Captain glanced down at him for agreement. Book sighed and nodded. It would be a blessing to let the girl rest for a while.

He focused his attention back on River while Inara went to retrieve the smoother. He noted with concern that the girl’s quiet spell did not signal any measurable improvement. In fact, the beads of sweat now popping out on her forehead plainly told of the amount of control she was exerting to stay more or less lucid. Her eyes had lost the disturbing gleam they’d had a few moments earlier, however.

“River?” he asked, keeping his voice soothing. Her eyes focused slowly on his with a wordless plea for him to make this stop. “Inara will be back soon with a smoother.” She simply nodded at him.

Malcolm’s hand gently reached over to tucked a stand of hair behind her ear. Book realized with a slight shock that they had all become more comfortable with touching the girl in the past month. Yet another odd side effect of the relationship with Jayne. Was it that seeing how Jayne treated her had changed their perceptions of River or had it changed River herself?

“Jayne…” the girl whimpered in pain. Book felt her fingers twitch between his palms as her eyes lost their focus. He felt a knot of dread form in the pit of his stomach as he watched the young girl slump slightly in the chair.

“River,” he said urgently. “Stay with us child.”

Suddenly she convulsed, her body slamming back in the chair as if she had been punched. They watched in helpless horror as her mouth widened in a soundless scream. The Captain grabbed her at the same time as he did as they desperately tried to pin her in the chair while she wildly thrashed about. The sound finally came out of her throat in a long, low, anguished cry of distress.

With a feeling of relief he heard Inara’s soft footsteps enter the mess behind him.

<><><><><><><><><>

The screams seemed to echo around the room, even though he knew his voice had given out long ago. The pain was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Every fiber of his being pulled apart for them to scrutinize, each thread of thought ripped out of his head for their examination.

And they hadn’t even started cutting anything out of his brain yet, he knew they hadn’t because he could hear them arguing about it. Trying to decide if he was worth working on or if they should just cut out the parts connected to River and let the rest die.

Oh God, River, he could feel her on the edge of his mind. Her pain washing over and mingling with his own. Why now, dear…tianna why now.

Their excited chatter scraped against his ears as the increased activity in his brain attracted them. He had to get her out, keep them from finding her. The probes shifted in his brain, trying to locate the area she was in.

With a burst of panic, Jayne shoved her back into her own mind. A scream ripped out to add another echo to the room, dimly he was aware that it was coming from him again.

<><><><><><><><><>

Wash’s voice came over the intercom, interrupting the conversation he and Book were having about the events of the morning.

“Captain, we’re about to hit atmo.”

Mal rose quickly and cast a quick glance over to make sure the girl was still sleeping in the chair next to where he had been. Inara motioned to him that she’d stay with River while Zoe and Book stood to follow him up to the bridge.

He had made no effort to get a hold of Patience yet, he really hoped that the reason they were here had nothing to do with the crotchety old woman. Perhaps there was a Reaver ship nearby they could lure back to Persephone, problem with that being that the Reavers would also kill his crew along with all the blue handed creeps.

Wash was staring down at the scanner as he entered, the scowl on his face making Mal wonder for a second if that thought about Reavers hadn’t brought them down on them.

“Something wrong Wash,” he asked in concern.

“No,” Wash said slowly. “Just…not expected. There’s a ship leaving atmo, looks like Monty’s.”

“Well I’ll be…” Mal drawled, a little awed that the girl had known there would indeed be help at Whitefall. “Wash, send ‘em a wave, let’s see if we can set up a meet.”

<><><><><><><><><>  
  
Simon lay on his back staring up at the ceiling, it had been several hours since they had taken Jayne off, wherever, and pacing back and forth like a caged animal had finally worn him out. It was still not enough to fall asleep again, still not enough to quiet all the horrific little scenarios dancing around the edges of his mind.

He never had done well when left alone with only his own thoughts. It wasn’t so much the being alone part; it was the having nothing to occupy his mind but well, his mind part. He was used to always having something to concentrate on. Papers to write, journals to read, lives to save.

All through school he’d always done extra homework on the side; even after finishing his internship he’d continued studying like he was still in school during his off time. And then there had been River’s letters to figure out and needing to find a way to reach her and get her to safety. On Serenity his spare time had been filled with finding a way to treat her and figuring out what they had done to her. Or spending time with Kaylee, that was the closest he’d ever come to just hanging out like a normal person.

His classmates, even the ones he had considered friends, had never just hung out with him. It had always been in the context of studying for that big final, or discussing Professor Bracchio’s latest lecture in minute detail to squeeze all the possible levels of meaning out of it. He was never the one anyone called on to go have a drink and gossip idly about who was dating who this week.

The one notable exception being graduation night of course, but the sake had numbed all thought away.

Now he was stuck here with nothing to read or study and no one to talk to. Just him and his thoughts twisting into dark, narrow pathways he really did not want to go down. So he kept his mind focused on how little time he’d ever spent alone with his thoughts, he knew it was a by-product of his Father’s continual remarks about idle minds being a waste. He had learned at a young age that it was best to keep his mind active.

Only now he was stuck trying to find a way to keep his thoughts from wondering what they were doing to Jayne right now without access to any of the tools he was used to using. He desperately needed to find a way to block the images of River sitting alone in a room just like this waiting for them to come and get her for more tests. To keep his mind away from the images of needles and strange exam chairs and screaming.

And most of all away from the slight, totally irrational, jealousy that they found Jayne more interesting to study then him.

It was insane to want them to take him instead of Jayne, he knew that. And he really and truly did not wish to be in Jayne’s place right now. But there was still that small voice inside wondering what made him less interesting then a man ape gone wrong. He knew that the reason Jayne interested them was the bond with River, of course he knew that. And that knowledge started up another little voice in his head wondering why River would rather share her thoughts with a man ape gone wrong then with him.

He’d even seen that voice reflected in the Blue Hands eyes when he’d told them Jayne was bound to her; even they couldn’t figure out why she would choose Jayne over him. Not that that was any comfort right now.

Oh God, he hated being alone with his thoughts. What he wouldn’t give right now for them to bring Jayne back just so he could immerse himself in dealing with whatever medical treatment he might need from whatever they were doing to him. Not that he could effectively treat anything here. Nothing but cold, white walls, two bunks and the standard toiletries.

His mind drifted back to one of his earlier musings on why they had put the two of them in the same cell in the first place. The complex certainly appeared large enough to have more then the one cell. Were the other rooms all occupied by children like River? Were there others here being studied; broken and twisted to fit into whatever master plan these sick qingwa cao de liumang were working on?

With a sigh, he wished that his mind was better at losing itself in mindless daydreaming. He’d almost managed it for a bit when he first lay down. He’d let himself think about Kaylee, remembering the feel of her skin under his hands, the sound of her urgent moans, the way she had of making him feel like he was wrapped up in sunshine.

But then the image of her frozen in a chair with strange needles digging into her skull had inserted itself and he’d quickly pushed the disturbing thought to the back of his mind. Now he was scared to try and bring up any more images of Kaylee, afraid that they would become tainted, or that seeing that horrible image too many times might make it real.

Because he knew that image had meaning. Knew it was connected to what they had done to River, he wasn’t sure how he knew but he did. He almost suspected that the horrors that had been done, were probably still being done, in this building had seeped into the very walls.

There was just something about the place that brought every nightmare he had ever had creeping up to the surface. Or perhaps it was simply that he was alone with no one to talk to and no way to keep his mind occupied in a place where he knew bad men had cut into his sister’s brain. Or perhaps he was slowly going insane.

At last, he thought with relief as the door scraped open. He sat up as the men pushed Jayne into the room before shutting them back in without a word.

Simon quickly moved over to help the big man up onto the other bunk, taking silent note of the fact that he appeared unharmed except for the tiny trickles of blood running down his temple. The way the image blended with the one he’d had of Kaylee earlier was eerie; it also reminded him far to strongly of all the times he’d run to River’s room in the middle of the night to find her huddled crying in a corner with her hands pressed against her head as if she was trying to hold her brains inside skull.

“How do you feel?” he asked, cringing slightly at how inane the question was.

“Like crap,” Jayne muttered back harshly, but Simon was relieved to see the big man had enough energy left to scowl at him. Although the look in his eyes as he did so would likely haunt him for years.

Before Simon could stop the impulse, his arms had gone around the big man’s shoulders and pulled him close. His hand rubbing comforting circles on Jayne’s back. Jayne shuddered slightly and then Simon felt the tears damping his shirt.

There was something oddly disturbing about the fact that comforting Jayne felt so much like comforting River. Or perhaps not so odd. After all, right now his pain was probably far closer to what River endured then any of them could have ever foreseen.

So Simon found himself murmuring the same meaningless phrases he used with River after one of her nightmares and rocking the mercenary gently like a child. After a few moments the other man pulled away. Jayne drew a shuddering breath and leaned forward, elbows on his knees and his shoulders slumped. His breathing came in unsteady pants.

Simon looked around the cell in alarm. There was no way he could get Jayne to the toilet in time. He bolted over to the other cot and ripped the cover off, getting it under Jayne just in time as the mercenary lost what was left of the meager dinner rations they had received the night before.

After waiting to make sure that Jayne had gotten it all up, Simon bent and folded the blanket carefully before taking it over to the corner by the sink. He hoped they wouldn’t need it again, but it seemed foolish to put it in the waste shoot until he was sure.

The cot creaked softly behind him as Jayne stretched out; Simon moved back over with a cloth he’d dampened in the sink. The way the mercenary was staring blankly up at the ceiling made Simon pause for a moment before gently cleaning the dried blood off. Jayne’s eyes focused up at him briefly as he let out a harsh laugh.

“Found out what all them cut’s in her brain were from,” he said softly. “They got these needles. Stick ‘em in your head and probe about with them. Let’s them see what your brain is doing, but I think they can also use ‘em for scraping bits out. From what they said…think they can activate parts of your brain with them too. Sometimes it felt like the gorram things was sending shocks into my head.”

Simon gently settled onto the cot next to him. Jayne was talking too softly to catch what he was saying from any distance, hardly surprising considering how hoarse the man‘s voice sounded. Simon knew he very much needed to hear this though, even though Jayne‘s perception of what had happened was obviously not entirely logical.

Between the image he’d had of Kaylee in the chair and Jayne’s descriptions, he had a sick feeling he was starting to get a very clear image of what they had done to River. And a much clearer understanding of how they had done it; although exactly why they had done it was still a mystery to him.

“They seem ta think that they can dig the bits out of my brain that are connected to River.” There was a quiet anguish in Jayne’s voice. “One’a them wants to alter me so they can use me to control her, the other two think they should just get rid’a the bond an’ find someone else to bind her too. Seems it’s common for them to need another to stabilize the main subject.”

“I don’t think they’ve perfected their technique yet,” Jayne added with another harsh bark of laughter.

“Any idea on what they are trying to accomplish?” Simon asked, half fearful that any interruption would end the flow of Jayne’s musings; but he needed to know if they had given any clues about it.

“Nothing yet,” Jayne replied softly. “But it does seem that bein’ a reader is part of it. Not just some unexpected side effect. They also seemed ta think River was special. Said something ‘bout being hopeful she wouldn‘t need bonding to be stable, kinda made it sound like she was the closest to a success they‘d had so far.”

“I felt her while they was working on me,” he continued after a moment. “They could tell when she was there. Those gorram probes…”

Simon looked down at the mercenary in concern, part of him wishing there was some way he could prevent Jayne from having to relive this. Jayne’s head turned slightly towards him.

“It’s alright, Doc,” he said softly, seeming to read his thoughts. “I need to talk it out almost as much as ya need to hear it.” Simon watched the mercenary silently while Jayne closed his eyes, only to open them again immediately; another tremor of reaction going through him.

“Think I know why I wasn’t able to feel her ‘fore.”

“Why?” Simon prompted him gently when he fell silent again.

“Was angry with her,” Jayne finally said with a sigh; his eyes glancing at him briefly before shifting back to the ceiling. “When she warned me, ‘bout Atherton, she was screaming your name. All concerned for your safety, only thing I was picking up from her was fear for you and that she wanted me to save ya. Didn‘t really hit me till this morning how much that bugged me; that she hadn‘t thought none on my safety, just yours. An‘ then when I felt her…during the thing…I shut her out. Knew as soon as I done it that I‘d done it before.”

“Jayne, I think we‘re both idiots,” Simon found himself chuckling darkly. “I’ve been sitting here being jealous that you can hear her thoughts and feelings and I can’t. We were so close as children, neither one of us made friends easily and our parents, well, let’s just say they were not the most expressive in their affections. And it’s not even that I want to be able to hear her thoughts or feel her feelings, it’s just that it hurt that she needs you more then she needs me.”

Simon stood up and moved back over to the sink to get the cloth damp again, he needed a bit of space after making his unplanned confession.

“But I think deep down inside you know that it was not that she doesn’t care for you,” he told Jayne as he moved back over to the cot. “More than likely it was simply a reaction to the fact that Atherton was focused on me; to him you were simply a hired hand, I was a bargaining chip.”

“If she ever had to make a choice between saving you or me…” Simon found he couldn’t finish that thought, in all honesty he thought a choice like that would kill River. Much as having to choose between saving River or Kaylee would kill him. He’d probably still save River if it came to it, but something inside him would be broken.

“She’d choose you,” Jayne said softly, but there was a note of acceptance in his voice now. “You’re her brother, you gave up everything to save her; an’ you need more looking after then I do.”

Simon glanced up quickly to catch the ghost of a smirk on Jayne’s face.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta by [](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/profile)[**cassiee**](https://cassiee.livejournal.com/) and [](https://bugchicklv.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://bugchicklv.livejournal.com/)**bugchicklv**
> 
> Chinese translations:  
> Wuo de ma: Mother of Jesus  
> shénme?: what?  
> fèi huà: garbage

<><><><><><><><><>

Mal studied Monty while he tried to decide how much to tell the older man about his situation. He’d long suspected that Monty still had ties to the small pockets of Independents that had gone underground, refusing to admit they had been defeated.

If he was right then Monty may already know more about the program that River had been in, might even have ties to those that had gotten her out. Ever since Simon had first told them his story on getting River out Mal had suspected that the group that helped him was one of these surviving cells.

If he was wrong though, if he was wrong he might be turning River and Simon over to someone else that might betray them. Not that he didn’t trust Monty not too, but it wasn’t his decision to make. It should be Simon sitting here deciding if he could trust this man with his secret, not Mal.

“Spit it out Reynolds. Much as I love the hospitality, I know ya didn’t invite me over for tea.” Monty gestured at his neglected teacup for emphasis.

Mal pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep sigh before answering. “No Monty, I didn’t. Two of my crew are in danger and I was hoping you might be able to help me get them out.”

“Which two?” Monty asked, his eyes sharpening with interest.

“Jayne, who you’ve met, and my Doctor.”

“You got yourself a doctor?” The way Monty’s eyes widened in shock almost made letting that piece of information drop worth it.

“Picked him up a while back,” Mal continued, “the boy needed to avoid Alliance attention…seemed like a fortuitous situation at the time.”

“But he got himself pinched, along with Jayne?” Monty leaned forward, his big paws wrapping around his cup.

“Not…exactly.” Mal said slowly, he knew good and well that Monty had more smarts than he seemed to at times and the gleam in the old warhorse’s eyes told him he had his suspicions on who his fugitive doctor might be already. “They were initially grabbed by an old enemy of mine on Persephone, he turned them over to..well, we aren’t quite sure who got them. But we think they are connected to Blue Sun.”

“Ain’t that many doctor fugitives that would catch the interest of Blue Sun Corporation.” There was a definite thoughtful look on Monty’s face as he continued, “Not too many that would catch the Fed’s attention for that matter, and only one that’s been popping up on the Core issued warrants regularly for the past year or so. Only one that’d be young enough for you to be calling ‘boy’. Course, always seemed to me they were more interested in retrieving his sister than him, what with the fact that she‘s the one they want alive and all.”

Monty was looking at him questioningly, but Mal just stared him down and asked softly, “Are you gonna be able to help?”

“Not sure I’m the right person to ask that, Mal.” Monty met his eyes. “Blue Sun and the Fed’s ain’t the only ones looking for the Tam’s. The boy was expected to show up on Boros and never did.”

“I want my crew back, and I ain’t turning them over to no one else.” Mal stated firmly. “I no longer answer to the cause, war‘s over and I ain‘t having my people dragged into the middle of a bloodbath to satisfy those that can‘t get that through their thick skulls.”

He felt a certain satisfaction at Monty’s surprised look, that old bear wasn’t the only one good at guessing secrets. The two war buddies locked gazes, neither of them wanting to be the one to look away first.

Mal was so intent on his stare-down with Monty that he didn’t realize anyone had come in until he heard the soft grunt of disgust off to his left. With a slight jump he looked over to see River, his one consolation was that Monty looked even more scared by the intrusion than he was.

Then the realization hit him that he’d just lost any chance he had of bluffing out of it being the Tam’s on his ship the minute Monty saw her. And just what was the gorram girl doing up already? They had just shot her full of smoothers not an hour ago.

The object of his distress just stood there with her hands on her hips and glared at them, “The wolves don't have time to fight over the kill...we have to locate the pups first.”

<><><><><><><><><>

There was much yelling coming from the mess-hall. Wash could hear Monty bellowing on about not seeing why it had to be his ship going into the docks on Persephone and being linked to the gorram jailbreak. And Mal’s equally loud retort that they hadn’t put Serenity together with the Tam’s yet, so why should they suspect a ship that had never been in the vicinity of any of the River sightings so far of being involved?

Zoe’s warm tones murmured under the din, too low to make out what thoughts she was adding to the mix. It seemed to do the trick though, as Monty’s next comment was said at a lower decibel than before. Wash listened with one ear while the conversation went at a more subdued level.

“Need a Trojan horse to lead the way, it has to be me.” River said softly behind him.

Dinosaur’s went flying everywhere as Wash jumped out of his chair at the intrusion. “Wuo de ma River, don’t sneak up on folks like that.”

“And why are you telling me that anyway, why not Mal?” he asked as she giggled and bent to retrieve one of the dino’s from under the console.

“Still too loud for them to hear,” she said softly, her eyes growing serious as she placed the velociraptor back in place. “The barking is done, but the growling is still there.”

“Well, you know how these alpha males are,” he said with a twinkle, “They should just accept the fact that Zoë’s the boss and be done with it. I know it made my life a lot easier.”

“Hope you aren’t asking me to be the one to drop that little bombshell of a plan on them though.” Wash knew Mal would take it even worse from him than he would River.

“No, asking you to tell Zoë so she can.” River beamed up at him like he was the second coming of Simon. Well, least it wasn’t the second coming of Jayne.

<><><><><><><><><>

A quick flash out of the corner of her eye caught Zoë’s attention; she turned to see her husband making his usual frantic gestures in the doorway. Just what she needed now, one more male wanting her attention. With a soft sigh she started to shake her head no and mouth not now to him but River’s head popped up over his shoulder before she could.

After a quick glance at Mal and Monty to make sure they weren’t on the brink of throttling each other again, she rose and went over to the pair in the doorway. Wash and River in cahoots was something that needed to be investigated.

“What is it,” she asked softly as she reached them, trying to place when River had left the discussion in the common room.

“River has a plan, or part of a plan,” Wash pulled her deeper into the hallway as he spoke. “She didn’t feel that they would hear her out so she came to me to get me to come to you with it. See, if you bring it up they might listen.”

Zoë felt her face settle into its best ‘Wash, you’re rambling’ look. As always, it worked; Wash cleared his throat and tried again.

“She thinks you need a Trojan horse,” Wash beamed at her.

“What?” she asked sharply. Oh, this was not going to go over well with Mal if they meant what she thought they did.

“A Trojan horse, Greek mythology? The fall of Troy? Helen, the most beautiful woman that ever lived before my Zoë? You know….” Wash trailed off as River piped in helpfully.

“Or a Trojan bunny, bunny would work too. Just don’t forget to put me in it.”

Zoë was a bit relieved that even Wash looked puzzled at that comment. She shook her head slightly to clear the disturbing vision of a giant bunny being pushed up to a Blue Sun office building by Mal and Monty away.

“Let me get this straight,” she asked River, trying to get them back on track, “you want me to convince Mal that using you to get some of us inside without arousing suspicion is a good plan?”

“Not saying that it isn’t.” She held up a hand to stop the stream of protests about to come from two of her three loonies. “I’m just saying convincing Mal it is might be asking a bit much.”

“Won’t let you in without me.” River said, her voice so soft that Zoë suddenly understood the girl did not bring this plan forth lightly. It eased her mind on it while breaking her heart.

And she was right, River was their best shot at getting past the front door in one piece. They would need all their forces at full strength to find Simon and Jayne and get out. Plus River knew the layout, therefore the most likely place they would be keeping them. It made all kinds of sense for her to be coming along, except for the fact that if things went horribly wrong, Blue Sun would have River right where they wanted her.

Oh, this was not going to be fun.

<><><><><><><><><>

Monty couldn’t believe they were still arguing about this; Mal could be a stubborn ass at times. Zoë had brought forth the best plan they’d had yet and the damn fool couldn’t admit it was the only plan they had that stood a chance of succeeding. Hell, he’d even agreed to the part about it being his ship and his people going in!

But no, Mal had to get all hung up on the tiny little detail of River going in with them. He felt his eyes drawn to where the little girl was calmly knitting nearby. She seemed downright normal compared to what he’d heard about the other kids; if you ignored the fact that she was muttering “not now, dear” under her breath while she worked.

He couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t been delayed on the way to Persephone. If River had made it to Boros as planned where they had Doctors waiting to help her brother care for her; not that they’d been much help to the others.

“Purple mountains rose from the sea, you had no choice but to go round the long way,” her soft words suddenly made sense, if only to him, as her large brown eyes looked up at him.

“Shénme?” Mal asked, his tone giving away his annoyance at not understanding the left turn this conversation had just taken.

Monty supposed he couldn’t blame him, the comment seemed so random. Least, it did if you didn’t know about the gorram Fed’s and their gorram checkpoint. Or that the plan to get River out had included transport to Boros. He wondered just how much Dr. Tam had told Mal about how he’d gotten his sister out of that ‘school’. And just how did River know what it was that had delayed him anyway?

“Zipped his lips and tossed the key,” River said in an almost sing-song fashion before continuing in what seemed to be her normal voice. “The missing puzzle piece has been found.”

“You know what she’s talking about?” Mal asked him.

“Yeah, although not quite sure how she’s knowing it,” Monty replied, suddenly tired of the cat and mouse game him and Mal had been playing since he got on board. Hell, if he couldn’t trust Mal and Zoë, who could he trust? Those two had saved his hide more than once. “Never actually met any of them before, they were still in stasis when I was near them.”

“Them?” Zoë prompted softly.

“She ain’t the first one they got out, she was the last though,” Monty took a deep breath to steady his nerves. “They seemed to take her escape a bit more personal then the others, think they weren’t quite done with her. The others, well, they’re pretty much vegetables from what I hear.”

“I only ran transport for ‘em,” he added quickly before Mal could shoot off the questions burning in his eyes. “Rest I know is just what I’ve picked up second hand. We were delayed that trip by a Federation blockade outside of Mirabilis. We missed the pick-up time and Dr. Tam and his sister were gone when we got there. Been keeping an eye out for some trace of them ever since.”

“Contact we had inside hasn’t been heard from since,” he added softly. “And several other employee’s have had missing persons reports filed on them.“

“That place has been nailed up tighter then a two-bit whore talking to a john with only one-bit since that little girl got out,” he added with a nod to Inara, “pardoning my language, Ma’am”

<><><><><><><><><>

“Not now, dear“? What the hell kind of fèi huà comment was that? Who did she think he was, Wash? To be brushed off like that without so much as a “Good job Jayne, I knew you could do it. I knew you could reach me”?

Gorram girl, didn’t she know how hard concentrating like that was for him? He wasn’t the gorram mind reader. She better not be getting herself into any kinda trouble while he gone. Girl was more then a mite headstrong and likely to set off on some fool plan to save him and the Doc. Mal best be keeping her safe or he’d have to..what? Haunt him to death?

Weren’t like he’d be getting out of this mess to do nothing to Mal if any harm did come to River.

No, he couldn’t be thinking like that, it would drive him crazy. Besides, he’d seen a flash of something in her hands before she shoved him off. It had looked like her damn knitting needles, weaving in and out of that silly pink yarn Simon had got her. Had to have been what she was doing, he was sure of it.

So she must be safe and sound on Serenity. If he just kept the image of her sitting there calmly knitting baby clothes then it would be true. Even if she wouldn’t be knitting any for him now least he could be sure she was knitting some for Wash and Zoe and maybe, someday, she‘d meet another man and knit for him.

Not that he wanted to be thinking that way either, was almost worse then thinking of her coming after him and getting herself killed. No, best if he just kept himself focused on that last bit of contact he’d had from her. He’d just have to squeeze every ounce out of it and hope it lasted longer than he did.

He already missed the tiny little clinking of her needles as they flashed in and out of the yarns she worked with. He’d loved sitting there watching her; her sweet face tilted down, her soft lips moving slightly as she counted off her stitches, her pale fingers delicately holding the needles.

But most of all, he loved the way her tiny, pink tongue peeked out between her lips on those rare occasions her rows didn’t line up and she had to unravel what she’d done and fix it. It always had to be just perfect.

No one but his Ma had ever taken such care when making him anything. Hell, no one else but Ma had ever bothered to make him anything at all. Made him feel safe and loved, special.

With a soft sigh he settled more comfortably against the wall behind him and closed his eyes, letting the planes of River’s sweet face form in his mind. He’d long ago memorized every curve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is as far as I got before inspiration fled...


End file.
